Yeah?
Good day, sir.
I am...
(gasps)
I know exactly who you are!
Ah, there's nothing like
spending some quality time with my Gar-Gar.
Jason, I have to be honest.
There's someone else.
Grandpa!
SpongeBob, help!
He's onto me!
I don't have much time!
(panting)
Patrick, what are you doing?
I have to get rid of these books!
Why? I'll show you why.
See him?
He's from the library.
He knows about my overdue books.
(gasps)
Uh-huh.
Which means I'm gonna get thrown in the big house.
And you know what that means.
Small portion meals?
Exactly!
(sobbing)
Patrick, don't you worry.
I got your back, man.
(clearing throat): Hi there.
Salutations, young one.
Say, you wouldn't happen to know
that starfish that lives under this rock, would you?
Huh?
No, I don't know any starfish.
Even if I did know this "alleged" starfish,
Patrick wouldn't owe any overdue library books.
(chuckles): Well...
it's too bad you don't know Patrick Star,
because I am from the Royal Ministry,
and have a gift for him.
Ooh, what is it?
This is the worst-tasting gift ever!
That's because you're supposed to wear it, not eat it.
Allow me to show you something.
(clattering) Let's see here.
Aha!
What I hold in my hands
is a family tree that goes back centuries.
It starts with the marriage of King Amoebae and Queen Mildew.
Then, through a few inbred generations,
ends at you, Sir Patrick,
which makes you a descendant of royalty.
You are a king.
And now it's time I adjourned to the Royal Ministry,
where I should be at your service,
Your Highness.
Wow, Patrick, that's great!
What is? That you're king!
What's a king? When you're a king,
you can get anything you want.
Anything I want?
(stomach growling)
SpongeBob, do you think we could get something to eat?
Your wish is my command, Your Majesty.
(laughing)
SPONGEBOB: Good townspeople,
let us rejoice in welcoming our new king.
King needs food badly.
What's this all ab...? (gasps)
Well, well, well.
What can I do for you, Patrick?
The king would like...
Zip it, SquarePants.
I'm talking to the rich guy.
I'll have ten Krabby Patties, a Krabby milkshake,
large fries...
l've got a better idea.
(Patrick chewing noisily)
(slurping)
A buffet fit for a king.
(belching)
Tasty.
Listen, Patrick, there comes a time in every man's life
when he's got to settle down, you know, get a wife, kids,
a father-in-law you give all your money to.
Uh-huh, that sounds great.
Hey, can I get a little more ketchup?
How's about you pay the check instead?
Oh, sorry, Mr. Krabs, no can do.
As King of Bikini Bottom, I am allowed to have anything I want.
Isn't that right, SpongeBob?
That is correct.
Anything you want, and it's all free.
All free?!
Nobody eats in me restaurant for free,
king or no king!
Are you going to eat that?
I was planning to. Why?
I want it.
Hey! What gives you the right to take my food?
(slurping)
Tell him, SpongeBob.
Uh, Pat, I'm not sure this is what being king is all about.
I thought you said I could have anything I want.
Was my bestest friend lying to me?
(chuckles)
Don't be ridiculous, Patrick.
I'd never lie to you.
Good!
Now tell him!
Hi.
By proclamation of the Royal Ministry,
the king is entitled to get whatever he wants.
(chuckles nervously)
This isn't fair.
Life isn't fair, pal.
Get used to it.
I finally did it!
At long last, I've acquired Issue No. 2
of Wonder Space Fish, and in mint condition.
Now my 40-year-old life
and my comic book collection are complete.
Mom's going to be so proud of me.
No, she won't be, because these comic books are mine!
But I've spent my entire life collecting those.
Yeah? Well, now you can spend
the rest of your life crying about it.
I'm the king.
I will...
cry about it.
(sobs)
I'll cry right to my mom!
(sobbing)
(laughing)
I love being king!
♪ ♪
(crying)
Okay, thank you, sir.
l'm sure King Patrick could use this walker.
I hope so.
Neptune knows I did.
Oof!
PATRICK: Hey, SpongeBob!
Yes, sire?
(slurping)
I need your opinion on something.
Do you think the giant flat-screen TV should go
over the fancy egg display
or the indoor swimming pool?
(snoring)
(birds chirping)
Hello, sunshine.
(chuckles)
(yawns)
What a beautiful morning.
Just perfect.
(loud crash)
(glass breaking)
(screaming)
PATRICK: Back, back, back.
Okay. Yeah, that's good.
(thuds)
Perfect.
(groaning)
(stuttering): My-My-My house.
Wh-What's happened to my... huh?
SpongeBob, Patrick.
What the barnacles is going on here?!
Look at what you've done!
Look at my poor front yard.
Your front yard?
Um, his royal highness is building a royal Ferris wheel.
Ferris wheel?!
I know, isn't it great?
No, it's not great! lt's horrible!
Oh, that's it. Stop!
People of Bikini Bottom, stop!
Stop! Patrick's no king.
Look at him. How can this pink blob be king?
Uh...
You. Do you honestly believe
that that mindless starfish could possibly
be the king of anything?
(sucking)
King of morons, maybe.
He might be on to something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
See, see, see, see, see? Uh-huh, mm-hmm, uh-huh. See?
(all talking at once)
Yeah.
Yeah, why are we giving
this guy all of our stuff?
See? See?
You're not a king.
And now, they all think so, too!
Get him!
Attack! Attack!
(panting)
SpongeBob, get him!
So I decree. Attack!
Uh, right away, Your Majesty.
Um, Squidward.
What? Um, could I get you to sign
this treaty promising your eternal loyalty to King Patrick?
Give me that.
A treaty, huh?
Well, here's what I think of your treaty.
My royal subjects have deserted me.
And it's all 'cause of that horrible Squidward.
This is all his fault.
His, his, not mine, his!
(crackling, boings)
Patrick, what's happened to you?
I don't know what you mean.
Uh...
(laughing)
You know, actually, Mr. Krabs is probably wondering where I am...
And what?
And, well...
it's just that, um,
you're kind of being a jerk.
Huh?
(laughing)
I thought you were going to say l was abusing my power.
Uh... well, I...
Don't say I'm abusing my power!
I'll put the whole town in prison.
Questioning my authority
is treason!
All these giggly speeches are making me thirsty.
SpongeBob, I request a drink.
SpongeBob?
(snorting)
SpongeBob?
Oh, gee.
Everybody's gone.
I'm all alone.
Fine, I'll get it myself.
(deep voice): Knock, knock.
Huh?
(gasps): A knock-knock joke.
Who's there?
You.
BOTH: I don't get it.
I'm you and you are me.
(sizzling)
(screaming)
What have I become?
A monster! Monster!
(gasping): Oh!
It's-it's you.
Here, here, take it.
I don't want it anymore.
It's turned me into a monster.
Oh, I think I know what's going on here.
Duh... Patrick, with great power
comes great responsibility.
You haven't a clue what I just told you, do you?
No. Uh-uh.
Oh, just as well.
I've come to take the crown back,
as it would seem that you
aren't royalty after all. Huh?
I discovered this coffee stain,
which upon removal reveals
that Sir Gary is the true heir to the king's crown.
Well, would you look at that?
Gary, you're royalty.
(meow)